Friday, May 27, 2011

The Commatrix.

For years the Wachowski Brothers have been coasting on their claim to fame, the futuristic sci-fi epic "The Matrix". This was their tour de force and even after two mediocre sequels people still have a soft spot in their heart for the original. What people don't know is that it is all a sham. The Wachowskis are a couple of rip-off artists. Sure, you could say that they took a lot from a wide array of influences: Neo as Jesus is pretty apparent, The Matrix is a mirror on our society (or some other such bullshit), and it can go on and on. But really, they got the entire idea from the Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle- "Commando."

Now I know what you're thinking? "This guy is crazy and grasping at straws." Straws, you say? Well how about this straw...Arnie's name in Commando is John MATRIX. That's a little obvious you say? Maybe the term "matrix" was just used in Commando because it sounded "cool" but I counter by saying that the Wachowskis thought the same thing!

But that's not even the tip of the iceberg. Watch the beginning of Commando again. The first 5 minutes of the movie (besides when Arnold's ex-team members are murdered) is Arnie and Alyssa Milano in an extended montage of the happiest shit ever recorded. They feed a dear and put ice cream on each other's noses for Christ's sake! It may as well have been a governor election ad that he could have rerun repeatedly in California a decade and a half later. "Schwarzenegger cares about his community and their deer."

We have this perfect little setting and we transition to their perfect home in the mountains where Alyssa Milano is making Arnold some sandwiches in their perfect kitchen. These sandwiches will turn out to be the crux of my conspiracy theory. However, before they partake Arnold makes a sly comment about Boy George, who I assume the Wachowskis took to mean George Orwell which describes the dystopian society presented in The Matrix. But back to the sandwiches...

Arnold takes a bite of the sandwich and is taken aback for a second, almost like some sort of switch had been flipped in his mind. He asks Milano "What's in this?" to which she ominously replies "You DON'T wanna know." Immediately after that single bite of sandwich the entire plot of Commando falls right on top of Arnie and company. Like that bite was the catalyst for his serene and peaceful world coming apart at the seams.

What the hell was in that sandwich, you ask? Red pills. That was a red pill sandwich. Check and mate, Wachowskis.


Kevin Merryman (JFD#13, JFD#44) is an unstoppable force. Along with being a co-host of the bi-weekly "Project Parlor and Junk Food Dinner presents" movie nights in Bed-Stuy, he has recently contributed a piece for our pals over at Classy Hands. After that, he wrote this piece for us. And somehow finds time to keep up his own blog (where he recently spoke with the one and only Steven Tobolowsky about the amazing film "Two Idiots in Hollywood"!) at Cultural Atrocities. Can't nobody break-a his stride, can't nobody hold him down.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Fabulous Thundercast: Episode 60

The landmark 60th episode of Junk Food Dinner is upon us!

First movie is: "Commando." We gush over former governor/current lover of women Arnold Schwarzenegger's 1985 action flick co-starring Alyssa Milano and David Patrick Kelly, directed by Mark L. Lester and co-written by comic writer Jeph Loeb. It's a non-stop thrill ride in what may be the ultimate '80s action flick.

Second movie is: "Surf II: The End of the Trilogy." It's surf and punks and Eddie Deezen in a starring role (!) in this hard-to-find 1984 movie full of bizarro humor and awesome songs and bikini bodies. Eric Stoltz and Corinne Bohrer co-star.

Third movie is: "MetalStorm: The Destruction of Jared Syn." This 1983 post-apocalyptic sci-fi flick stars Richard Moll from "Night Court" and Jack Deth himself, Tim Thomerson. Charles Band directs.

Fourth rule is: Eat kosher salamis.

Direct Download

Got a comment or question about this show? Drop us a line at Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


Project Parlor and Junk Food Dinner present...

Krull (1983)

The Beast and his minions (The Slayers) land on the planet Krull and kidnap the princess, it's up to prince Colwyn and his rag-tag team of misfits to save not only her, but the entire planet!

Directed by Peter Yates (Bullitt, The Deep, Friends of Eddie Coyle) and written by Stanford Sherman (The Ice Pirates, the original Batman TV show), and featuring a young Liam Neeson- this is an oft overlooked sci-fi gem. The sets are huge and colorful, the costumes are also huge and colorful. Also, this has one of the coolest (and vastly underused) weapons ever, The Glave. Do yourself a favor and check this out, it'll be your favorite movie you wish you had seen twenty years ago.

Return To OZ (1985)
Aunt Em, fed up with Dorothy's stories about the magical land of OZ takes her in for electro-shock therapy. While in the hospital, a huge storm kicks up and Dorothy wakes up in OZ with her favorite chicken, who can now talk. She finds the citizens of her beloved Emerald City have been turned into stone. It's up to Dorothy to save the land she longed to return to.

Fairuza Balk and Piper Laurie star in this slice of pure nightmare fuel from the mid-1980's. Honestly, this movie should not be shown to children. The Wheelers alone are enough to make never want to visit the "wonderful" land of OZ. An eclectic mix of set pieces and characters make Walter Murch's only directing effort shine but, seriously, don't bring your kids.

Join myself and Kevin Merryman tonight at Project Parlor, won't you?
Look for Episode #60 (Commando, Surf II: The End of the Trilogy, and Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn) tonight or tomorrow!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Icon vs. Icon is totally rad!

Hey, gang. You in the mood for All Things Pop Culture? I bet you are! Well, check out Icon vs. Icon. These guys have been super cool to us and seem to tell folks about us every chance they get, and beyond that, they have a really kick-ass website.

They have tons of interviews with JFD favorites like Corey Feldman, Roddy Piper, John Carpenter and Alex Winter (who we also interviewed on JFD22.) And they've interviewed a who's who of girls Parker has a crush on like Iliza Shlesinger and Megan Ward.

They've also got reviews and give-aways and all types of cool stuff.

In summation, their website is top notch. Check it out.

A good ol' fashioned rom com, eh?

Check out this trailer for this romantic comedy...

Fooled you! It's the teaser for the Muppets movie!! Awesome!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Junk Food Dinner Podcast: Episode #59

Strap in, cadets, because Junk Food Dinner is about to boldly go...well you get the idea. This week we take a look at 3 horror icons who got blasted into space (or in one case, just showed up there.)

First, we pal around with Pinhead as we take a look at Hellraiser 4: Bloodline - the last of the series to see a theatrical release.

Next, our luck runs out when we match wits with Warwick Davis as the Leprechaun (regular and extra large) in the crazy mess that is Leprechaun 4: In Space, from director Brian Trenchard-Smith.

Finally, we learn that in space, no one can hear you groan, as we review the 10th (!) installment of Friday the 13th - Jason X, from 2001.

All this, plus nerd news / DVD releases / listener feedback / and more!

Direct Donloyd

(Can't get enough of us? Or at least some of us? Check out the latest Pool Party Radio! Kevin joins Parker and Jon this week to crack wise!)

(Also, if you live in or around Brooklyn and you miss this, you'll hate yourself in the morning. But we will still love you.)

Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, if you like the show, (and why wouldn't you if you've come this far) please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Blubrry or We gain precious nutrients from your love and support.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Hachi Machi, it's Fright Night

Here's something else that may make Mark upset. The Fright Night trailer.

Spoiler Alert: It looks stupid.

Monday, May 16, 2011

File Under "Will Enrage Mark"

We talked about the Sam Peckinpah/Dustin Hoffman film "Straw Dogs" way back on JFD20, much to Mark's dismay, as he loves this movie and we reviewed it on a week he was absent from the show. And now, to add insult to that still un-healed wound, is the trailer for the remake.

I'm always optimistic for remakes, as you may have observed, so I'll probably check this out. I think in our reviews, Kevin and I were pretty much on the same page that we were upset that "nothing happens for the first 55 minutes or so," so maybe this remake will quell our thirst for exciting story telling in the first half of the story.

As a side note, it's crazy that we've been doing this podcast so long that movies we've been all "Apparently they're (re)making X movie and it will be out in the future sometime" in past episodes and now those movies are actually coming out.

Psychos in Love showing May 21!

An embarrassing mistake, a heart-felt apology

On the new episode of JFD that will be coming out this week, I make a reference to liking "Hellraiser III" because there's a scene where Pinhead busts into a night club and takes the entire place out with a flurry of chains and metal and hooks and stuff. I go on to say that this pleased me as a youngster because it was unique to horror/the slasher genre and because 'Freddy never killed a whole bunch of people at once.' This is a terrible mistake on my part. I probably meant to say "Jason never killed a bunch of people at once" because, as we all know Freddy did kill a bunch of people in a flurry of fire and razor claws and puns. In "Nightmare on Elm Street 2," Freddy takes out a whole Pool Party.

I apologize for this momentary lapse in judgement and I never meant to sully Freddy's good name as a total badass who has no qualms about killing everyone at a pool party or a night club.

Friday, May 13, 2011


You guys know this is going to be super fun and out of control so you'd better not snooze on this one! If you, a loyal listener, are going to be in attendance- let us know! Mark will be there and is desperate for contact with other humans. This would probably be a good time to put that JFD discount into effect! Pick up some cool comics, new threads, and (of course) a copy of SLIME CITY MASSACRE! See you weirdos there!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Junk Food Dinner Podcast: Episode #58

Everybody's favorite cult film podcast, Junk Food Dinner, gets eXXXtreme this week as we skate our way through three Rollerblade™-themed films!

Up first, futuristic switchblade-toting nuns and poorly dubbed cops strap on skates and battle punks and puppets in a post-apocalyptic hell in the amazingly surreal, low-budget straight-to-video exploitation film Roller Blade from 1986 directed by Donald G. Jackson.

Then, a generic young pretty boy from California is forced to move in with his relatives in Cincinnati and prove himself to the locals by taking part in an epic downhill inline skate race in the 1993 teen comedy Airborne, featuring Seth Green and Jack Black.

And finally, Corey Haim and Patricia Arquette team up to take down a gang of rollerblading, drug dealing, white supremacists in the distopian cyber-punk action-drama Prayer of the Rollerboys from 1990.

Also, we have Nerds News, this week's DVD and Blu-Ray releases and much more!

Listen Now:

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Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, if you like the show, (and why wouldn't you if you've come this far) please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Blubrry or We gain precious nutrients from your love and support.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Mystique gets X-Men trailer

In a trailer full of "That's not how it happened!" retconning, we get to see young Mystique join the First Class of Xmens.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Dudes of Wrath Podcast: episode 57

This week, we're joined by film-maker Jeremy Morrison (who worked on Showtime's "Look" and "Hatchet II") as we explore three often overlooked films by the director who influenced Morrison to get into movies, Wes Craven.

First, we look at Morrison's favorite flick, the story of a serial killer who uses magic or something to turn into electricity or something in 1989's "Shocker." Craven tries to get lightning to strike twice (get it?!) in this bizarre Freddy knock off.

Then we find out what happens when you're a boy genius who puts the brain of your dead robot into the body of your dead crush in "Deadly Friend," from 1986, starring Kristy Swanson.

Finally, we witness a "Swamp Thing" battle David Hess and a monster that seems to be half-man and half bear/pig in the 1982 action flick based on the DC Comic, starring Adrienne Barbeau.

There's also Nerd News and this week's DVD/Blu Ray releases.

Direct Download

Monday, May 2, 2011

More 50 Cent movies means more happiness!

50 Cent is returning in another movie where he plays a teenage sports star!!

I can't wait to pick this movie for the show*!!

*Sorry, Mark**.

**Not too sorry, though, cuz this looks awesome!!