Junk Food Dinner: Episode #41

Junk Food Dinner is back and is kicking off 2011 with cave monsters, time travel and she-males!

Up first, we join John Stamos as he aims to take down the evil team of the hermaphroditic Gene Simmons and his nerdy sidekick Robert Englund in the absolutely ridiculous "Never too Young to Die" from 1986.

Then we're transported to the distant (and sandy) future with a bunch of Japanese children in 1987's "The Drifting Classroom," based on the manga of the same name.

Finally, director Neil Marshall sticks us in a deep, dark cave that may or may not be full of frightening wall-crawling monsters in 2005's "The Descent."

We've got all this, Nerd News, this week's DVD releases and we discover that Mark's roommates go ape for secret monkeys!

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  1. I used to come across the VHS for NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE all the time in pawn shops and video stores. I’d always pass it up until I started collecting Charter Entertainment VHS tapes (because they're so pretty and colorful and weirdly wildly eclectic). NTYTD does seem to be one of the more common Charter Ent. tapes that I’ve found in my journeys (well, that and Joan River’s written/directed RABBIT TEST with Billy Crystal), so I guess you could say it’s sort of like what Combat or Missle Command is to Atari 2600 collectors or Super Mario/Duck Hunt to NES fiends. Charter must have pressed a ton of copies of NTYTD, so somewhere amongst the population of now middle-aged unassuming movie renters there must be a bunch of people who have some strange memory of “that guy from KISS” chasing around “that guy from FULL HOUSE” somewhere in their consciousness, which of course they get confused with a movie called RABBIT TEST with Billy Crystal.

    Several shows could be made from great Charter Ent. releases alone, here’s just a few ideas:

    Charter Entertainment VHS:
    -The Manitou/Crimewave (Sam Raimi)/Darktown Strutters
    -Starcrash/The Dirt Bike Kid/God Told Me To
    -Time Walker/The Terrornauts/The Plague Dogs
    -The Quest/Around The World In 80 Ways/Fair Game/Bridge To Nowhere
    -Rolling Vengeance/Trouble In Mind/Thumb Tripping
    -The Jericho Mile/Ghost Fever/I Was A Teenage Zombie
    -Hog Wild/Summer School Teachers/Slaughterhouse

    And sorry about the dark copy of THE DRIFTING CLASSROOM, but that's really been the only version floating around for a long time. Of course, somebody just uploaded a better quality copy to Cinemageddon a couple of months ago that I didn't know about until now, sorry. I'm going to download it myself though, because I love this goofy-ass, bizarro, apocalyptic, otherworldly, nostalgic childhood downer. It makes me feel all funny inside, especially with Joe Hisaishi's score. Of course I've never read the manga and might have been disappointed with the film version if I had.


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