Friday, September 28, 2012
JFD128: Fantastic Four (1994), The Punisher (1989), Steel
Faster than a speeding...uh, thing! More powerful than Mitchum brand deodorant! Able to watch the absolute dregs of cinema! Junk Food Dinner returns with our Sad-Sack-Superheros episode and, boy, is it something.
Up first - Reed, Sue and the whole gang are just doing their normal astronaut routine when suddenly they're blasted by cosmic radiation! Now armed with powers beyond their wildest dreams they have to team up and defend the Earth from the villainous Dr. Doom as - THE FANTASTIC FOUR! Wait, no, they have to stop a moleman from robbing banks, I guess. Wait, no, they have to take a laser into space or something. Look it doesn't matter. This hot mess from 1994 should have stayed NIB on the shelves for all eternity - it was never intended to be released and was only made to secure copyright! NUFF SAID!
Next - Frank Castle is a man with a one track mind - vengeance! A former cop who saw his families lived taken by gangland cronies, Castle (Dolph Lundgren) shed the shield and became the specter known as THE PUNISHER and left a trail of bodies in his wake (there are something like 91 on-screen kills in this) while striking fear in the hearts of goons everywhere. Certainly the best of the bunch and in a week like this, that's saying something.
Finally - we retain our crown as the worlds greatest cult film and basketball podcast as we examine STEEL from 1997 starring Shaq! The big man himself plays a former weapons expert or something who, after an accident cripples his non-sexual life partner, quits the army (somehow) and goes home to live with his grandma. But when the weapons he helped design end up in the wrong hands (those hands belong to Judd Nelson, by the way) and end up on the streets. He assembles his team (including Richard Roundtree!) and takes the streets back. Armed with a modded sledgehammer and covered head to toe in armor - something something something A REAL SLAM DUNK! (Sorry I'm tired of talking about this movie.)
Direct Download Here.
All this plus witty banter between friends, another truly epic stinger, glitchy Skype noise, soundboard antics, Junk Mail, the wonder of hype-men, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!
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