Parker checks some items off his bucket list.


I'm having a really good day. Firstly, after about 10 years of searching, I finally was able to download a VHS rip of one of my favorite cheesy 80s films, "Meatballs III." The film has the best fucking plot in the history of cinema. A nerd (Patrick Dempsey) working at a summer camp gets help losing his virginity from the ghost of a porn star. That's all your bitch ass needs to know, right? I bet you just lost your shit reading that plot synopsis!

For some reason, this is not on DVD. Meatballs 4 is on DVD for some reason. That's the wacky Corey Feldman one. I love Feldman, but Meatballs 4 is less than stellar. And there are no porn ghosts in it.


Also, for most of my life, I've remembered a scary movie I used to see on TV and used to rent at VideoTowne ALL THE TIME. The things that I remembered about the movie are that a birthday party may have been involved and that people get may or may not get chased. So, I've never remembered anything abut the movie, but I remembered the box art.

It was blue and there was a scary face on it.

And this is the description I've been giving to anyone who will listen while searching for this movie. Admittedly, it's not much to go on. But, by some means of fate, I found the fucking movie last night on these fucking interwebs. The damn thing is not on DVD, sadly, but some God Amongst Men put the damn thing on Youtube! Oh, the movie is called "Spookies" apparently. Who could have forgotten such a memorable title?

Anyway, the points I'm trying to make are as follows: I am now dangerously close to have fulfilling all my life's long-term goals and the next few episodes of Junk Food Dinner: The Podcast are going to be fucking awesome.

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