The Summer of 3-D Barbarians

Good news for fans of rippling muscles, fur loin cloths and giant swords. No, they haven't figured out a way to bring Frank Frazetta back from the dead yet BUT you can look forward to not one but TWO new barbarian-themed films this summer (in 3-D of course).

Up first, Marcus Nispel, the director who made the God-awful remakes of both The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th, will try his hand at fucking up another beloved franchise, Conan the Barbarian.Recently a teaser trailer for the new installment of Conan popped up in theaters and online, showcasing former Baywatch stud Jason Momoa in the lead role originally made famous by Arnold Schwarzenegger almost 30 years ago. The film will also star Ron Perlman, Rachel Nichols and Rose McGowan. While the trailer doesn't reveal much, I think it's safe to say, I don't have very high expectations for this one.

Forgive me if I'm slightly more excited for the Danish CGI adult comedy Ronal the Barbarian, set to be released in Denmark in September. From the same people who brought you last year's R-rated computer animated comedy The Trouble with Terkel (which has yet to get a proper US release), Ronal focuses on a young weakling who is thrust into the unlikely role of a hero.

With it's R-rating, focus on humor, heavy metal soundtrack and the voice talent of Red Sonja herself, Brigitte Nielson, Ronal the Barbarian seems like the obvious choice for your 3-D barbarian dollar. However, it's unlikely that Ronal will get a US theatrical release because US audiences can't handle CGI films that aren't heartwarming tales of cute creatures trying to find their way home, but hopefully we can look forward to a stateside DVD release if we're real lucky.