JFD395: X-Mas Massacre (AKA Last Stop on the Night Train), Get Santa, Better Watch Out

Do you hear what we hear? Pull up a seat by the fireplace and hear the bells with us, Junk Food Junkies. It's cold outside but we've specially formulated this podcast to cross-function as a travel-sized pocket warmer. Our patented yuletide blend includes: HEATED thoughts on Christmastime cheer, HEATED thoughts on I Tonya, HEATED thoughts on Star Wars: The Last Jedi, HEATED thoughts on Italian gas station payphones and so much more.

We bring the hot Tupac jams. Will from Richmond brings a hot voicemail. Check out these hot cheeseburger sad-eyes. Hot Canadian voicemails from a Hot Canadian male voice. A basket of hot apples to denote cold-ass creeps. The bass player from the Goo Goo Dolls is a hot sucker for this kind of shit. It's the hottest seasonal podcast to melt your tongue right off that frozen metal pole, so tell all your friends. We also review a trio of Christmastime films, if that's something you'll believe!

First up! All aboard Aldo Lado's loose remake of Last House on the Left, a stylish 1975 rape revenge flick mostly set aboard a long-distance European train line. It's a grim and grimy movie, known by several names, but we'll refer to it simply as Xmas Massacre and we'll speak quietly and slowly as we review it for you.

And then! The next movie we review is Get Santa from 2014! Directed by Christopher Smith! From the UK!

Finally! You'd better not cry, because we're reviewing Better Watch Out from 2017. It's one of those movies that we suggest you don't know anything about, and then we proceed to tell you everything about it. Watch out!

All this plus witty banter between pals, blood running down legs, reasons why Parker chose his movie, spoiler: Santa gets hard in prison, much motherfucking California love, the national sickness, our weekly news and Blu-ray Picks, funny Skype business, no audible mention of police involvement, all-wet sneezes, super-mega belches, one ride offered (not taken), sandpaper armpit farts, Lemming droppings, snide-ways glances, lowfat vegetable gleeks and a whole lot more!

Also! Check out proof you were looking for.

Direct Donloyd Here

Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865). Add it to your telephone now!

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Comments

  1. Who edited this 'sode? Whoever it was, outstanding job son. The 2-Pac tribute was genius. I haven't laughed so much during a JFD 'sode since BatPussy.

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