Wednesday, February 27, 2013

JFD149: Godzilla 1985, Cloverfield,
Attack of the 50 ft. Cheerleader

Tonight we've got a really big show! Get it? It's a pun! We're doing three movies about giant monsters!

First and foremost, the king of the monsters returns to wreak havoc on Japan in Godzilla: 1985. After many years without Godzilla, (in both the story and in real life), the monster returns, threatening Japan with its destructive power, and by causing worldwide nuclear tensions.

Next, a giant beast rises from the sea in time to crash a party in 2008's Cloverfield. Directed by Matt Reeves (Let Me In) and written by Drew Goddard (Cabin in the Woods), this is a smart, modern (found footage) take on giant monsters.

Finally, a college nerd is turned into a huge sexy athlete in 2012's Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader. Roger Corman produced this made-for-cable late night comedy, that features JFD favorites like Mary Woronov, Ted Raimi and John Landis.

All this plus witty banter between friends, complete confidentiality, no police involvement, soundboard antics, Donald Lloyd of the Junk Food Dinner Warehouse, Junk (voice)Mails, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!

Direct Donloyd Here!!

Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes. We gain dead chickens from your love and support.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

JFD148: Westworld, RoboCop, Blade Runner

We're on the homestretch of Sci Fi Ebruary with this week's robot theme show!

First, an amusement park full of androids experiences technical difficulties in 1973's "Westworld." Written and directed by Michael Crichton, this flick features Yul Brynner in his iconic, frightening and influential role as The Gunslinger.

Next, After his gruesome death, Officer Murphy (Peter Weller) is brought back to to clean up Detroit in RoboCop from 1987. Paul Veerhoeven (Total Recall, Starship Troopers) directs this masterpiece of violent satire.

Finally, it's up to Harrison Ford to hunt down escaped robots in Ridley Scott's Blade Runner from 1982. Rutger Hauer and Daryl Hannah co-star in this stylish sci fi benchmark.

All this plus witty banter between friends, soundboard antics, facetoface Chat, Junk (voice)Mails, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!

Direct Donloyd Here

Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes. We gain dead chickens from your love and support.

Friday, February 15, 2013

March Calendar/ JFD's Third Birthday Extravaganza!

Moshi-moshi, Junkies! Sci Fi Ebruary is already halfway over (if you believe time is linear, anyway), which means March is coming up soon. Which means JFD will be celebrating its third birthday! Holy Jeez! We've been around longer than all of Andy Richter's tv shows combined! Thanks for supporting us through this crazy journey of self discovery and our transformations into manhood. We're gonna keep on keepin on into our fourth year with more crazy movies, more shocking revelations and more Face to Face Chat!

And hey! Buying a Junk Food Dinner T-Shirt is a great birthday present to us (and you!) It's win-win. We also accept presents in the form of iTunes ratings and reviews and Facebook "likes". If you have a second, please leave us a nice iTunes review or rating, as it helps other people stumble upon our show and it gives us a glimmer of self esteem.

Anyway, here's the March schedule!

JFD150: The Historic 150th Episode!

  • The Devil in Miss Jones 3: A New Beginning (1986)
  • Surf Nazis Must Die (1987)
  • Ghost Dad (1990)
  • Operation Pink Squad 2 (1987)
  • A Million in the Morning (2010)
  • Video Diary of a Lost Girl (2012)
JFD152: Cult Movies & Basketball
  • Teen Wolf (1985)
  • Monster High (1989)
  • Night of the Dribbler (1990)
JFD153: Our 3rd Birthday Party
  • Slumber Party Massacre 3 (1990)
  • Child's Play 3 (1991)
  • Toad Warrior (Frogtown 3) (1996)

Thursday, February 14, 2013

JFD147: Primer, Safety Not Guaranteed, Planet of the Apes

Junk Food Dinner keeps on slippin' slippin' slippin' into the future. Or the past. Or you know, wherever. That's right, Junkies, it's time travel week in our Sci-Fi-ebruary celebration! Put your goggle on and let's go!

Up first, a marvel of science and fiction to be sure. Shane Carruth directs and stars in the 2004 low-budget high-concept head-scratcher - PRIMER. Two friends working on a weekend project in the garage fall ass backwards into a world of ethical troubles and a laundry list of paradoxes when they accidentally invent time travel. Will they figure out the best (if any) way to you use their new found invention? Spoiler: Yes, kind of. But also kind of not. Join us in our confusion!

Next, a host of slackers from a big fancy magazine set out to find the man who posted the classified ad claiming to need a partner to travel through time with (and who owns their own weapons). Aubrey Plaza, Mark Duplass, Kristin Bell, and more star in this quirky tale about what it means to appreciate the time you have - SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED from 2012.

Finally, we dip our toes into the ocean of classics as we take a look at Charleton Heston's finest monkey-themed film 1968's PLANET OF THE APES. A crew of astronauts crash lands on a strange (OR IS IT?) planet and meet up with a race of ca-razy apes! Penned by Rod Serling and a monument to effects make-up this one doesn't monkey around. (Sorry.)

Direct Download, from your pal - Don Lloyd.

All this plus witty banter between friends, a soon to be classic rant from Parker, soundboard antics, Junk Mail, DVD & Blu-ray releases, little to no Skype issues, Face To Face chat, Nerd News and so much more!

Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at Or leave us a voicemail/phone sex (It's message season, after all.): 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or We gain ear bleeds from your love and support.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Check out this trailer for "Of By For"

I realize this bit of Nerd News is not that "junky" as there are no giant rubber monsters (unless you count Ralph Nader), but here's a trailer for an upcoming political documentary titled "Of By For." I think if you're into politics, this will be right up your alley. And if you're not into politics, this is probably even more up your alley.

Of By For Trailer from Old Machine on Vimeo.

One of the guys behind the film, Aaron Keith Harris is a great dude I worked with for a while and has been on Pool Party Radio a few times. In fact, he was recently on this episode to talk about the documentary and about America's best and worst presidents. It's one of my favorite episodes.

Check out the website for "Of By For" here for more info and updates on it. And for a list of the people they interview in the movie. Guys like (spoiler alert) Ron Paul, Al Sharpton, Ralph Nader, Gary Johnson, Dennis Kucinich and tons more.

Parker vs. Wishmaster 3:
Beyond the Gates of Hell

A long time ago, I reviewed Wishmaster and Wishmaster 2 with the intent to do the whole series (the way I did with Saw an even longer time ago). But I forgot all about it. Or maybe I was just too bummed out to watch the final two Wishmaster films because Andrew Divoff (The Djinn) left the franchise to be a Russian on Lost for a couple episodes. He probably did other stuff in life, too, I guess. And I felt that a Wishmaster divided itself would not be able to stand! Five minutes into this third instalment, my fears were confirmed.

We begin with a blonde woman having nightmares stemming from her survivor's guilt about her family dying in a horrific accident that she lived through. This is so similar to the first WM movie that it's exactly like the first WM movie. Would you be willing to bet that like WM1's protagonist, this girl gets over her guilt to save the day? We also learn that her name is Diana and she has a boyfriend that she may or may not like. In fact, during an early scene, she finds her boyfriend talking to a girl who tells Diana that her boyfriend is going to cheat on her. I assumed this was a subtle way to foreshadow the fact that the boyfriend would cheat on Diana later in the movie, but I was totally wrong. They're instead foreshadowing the fact that this girl is (mostly) slutty and will be (mostly) naked later because she (totally) comes on to the Djinn.

Diana, a student of some sort, is toying around with ancient artifacts (i.e. spare puzzle boxes from Hellraiser 6) and finds the Djinn's prison, a small ruby. There were no puzzle boxes in the previous films, so is this a different genie locked in a similar stone? Or the same genie (played by a new guy), but somehow he got locked in a Lament Configuration sometime between WM2 and WM3? And was that the same leprechaun in all the Leprechaun movies? Friday the 13th 5 really fucked with my head at a young age and now I distrust the identities of all slashers.

Anyway, so Diana discovers the stone and then peaces out on her teacher (cuz he totally tried to hit on her and then gets rejected HARD). Then the Djinn just shows up. He walks out of the bathroom or something and he's just in frame somehow. This is a total bummer and cop out because parts 1 and 2 set the rule that when the Djinn is summoned, he starts out as a weird fetus and needs to get stronger through wishes. I guess they nixed that part of the mythology because money, time and talent weren't part of this director's toolbox. This director, by the way, is only notable for directing WM3, WM4 and a Dexter iPhone app*

So, the Djinn shows up and we can tell that no one even cared about writing this movie because the professor sees him and goes "Jesus" and the Djinn says "Not even close" and it's like the entire Hellraiser series just passed before your eyes. The Djinn blackmails the teacher into helping him by reminding him of the fact that he's a rapist. He does this by faking an orgasm. It's pretty fucking nonsensical. The Djinn also offers him a wish cuz they're solid bros now apparently. The professor wishes for a hot chick. No! Two hot chicks, he says, catching himself before making the silly mistake of only wishing for one measly hot chick. So, two hot naked chicks show up and start making out with the dude while this hulking demon monster watches and gets visibly aroused. The Djinn is moaning, licking his lips and at one point even cups his hands in the air like he's playing a pair of air titties.

Then the naked ladies eat the teacher. There's no clever wordplay involved, no saucy pun, no Twilight Zone-esque twist. The guy wished for chicks and he got them. But they killed him. And so the deaths go in this flimsy excuse for a movie. No more cute wish-tricks that we've been accustomed to. The next kill scene involves a secretary (or someone) wishing for "a mountain of flames" to destroy her paperwork so she can go home. I've never seen a "mountain of flames," so I got a little excited. But, then the Djinn just sets her on fire. Well, not her, but a stuntman in a similar cardigan. Not one piece of paper is engulfed. The Djinn didn't even really fulfil the main part of the wish! There's also a death scene where The Djinn is holding a dude by his throat, asking him to make a wish and the dude's all "Blow me, bro!" And the genie just blows air out of his mouth and the dude floats into some antlers on the wall, getting impaled, like he's a bag of moldy Kiefer Sutherlands. But, how cool would this movie be if the Djinn was compelled to grant his wish and reluctantly sucked that dude's dick to completion? I bet the Djinn would feel so violated.

Then some other bullshit happens. Diana screams, all sweaty, into the camera for a while. And during an obligatory research scene, someone says "The myth of Madea is seriously sick and twisted," which is kind of funny and during a college kid sex scene, the guy goes "Behave!" like Austin Powers, so that brought me back to the good ol' days. There's also a completely needless scene where The Djinn (disguised as the dead professor) teaches a class about how the genies started the Trojan War.

Diana wishes to be protected by the archangel Michael (because WM2 ushered in all that weird Christian mythology and WM3 is happy to keep on keepin' on) but it's not even cool. Basically all that happens is her boyfriend gets a sword and a deeper voice. Couldn't the Djinn have come up with a way to turn this into a trick wish? He couldn't have summoned John Travolta's character from "Michael" rather than the actual Conqueror of Satan? Seems like a bad move to grant this one wish straight up. He should have pulled some cute shit.

Anyway, good triumphs over evil and the angel goes back to heaven and blah blah. This movie is terrible and it's easy to see why Andrew Divoff wanted no part of it. I should have had no parts of it, too. That being said, I'll probably watch WM4 soon because I'll fell empty if I don't finish these off.

*Or maybe it's a short film or a cartoon or a DVD special feature. I can't find much about it.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

JFD146: Alien, Not of This Earth, I Come in Peace

Greetings, Earthling! This episode marks the beginning of Junk Food Dinner's "Sci-fi-ebuary", our month-long tribute cult-y science fiction films. This week, we're joined by long-time friend of the show Kevin Merryman to start things off with our tribute to those little green men from beyond the stars, aliens.

Up first, the crew of a commercial space ship discovers a nest of eggs on a foreign planet. After one of the crew members is attacked by an unknown organism and brought back aboard the ship, the rest of the crew quickly becomes prey to one of the galaxy's most vicious predators in 1979's Alien. This sci-fi classic directed by Ridley Scott and written by Dan O'Bannon stars Tom Skerritt, Sigourney Weaver, Harry Dean Stanton and Yaphet Kotto.

Next, a space man disguised as a human comes to Earth, looking for blood that can save his alien race and enlists the help of sexy nurse Traci Lords in 1988's Not of This Earth. This goofy sc-fi sex comedy, directed by Jim Wynorski, is a remake of a 1957 Roger Corman-directed feature of the same name.

And finally, an intergalactic drug dealer is wreaking havoc on Earth and it's up to renegade cop Dolph Lundgren and his hard-nosed, by-the-book partner Brian Benben to stop him in the 1990 sci-fi action flick I Come In Peace (AKA Dark Angel)

All this plus witty banter between friends, soundboard antics, nerdy music chat, Junk (voice)Mails, DVD & Blu-ray releases, Nerd News and so much more!


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Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or We gain dead chickens from your love and support.