Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Junk Food Dinner in 3-D

3-D is all the craze in Hollywood right now and if "Avatar" taught us anything, it's that people will spend all their money for a third dimension.

And that's why we here at Junk Food Dinner are pleased to announce that next week's Episode #9 will be in 3-D!!!

So get ready, America! Cuz next week, we'll be all up in your face!!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Junk Food Dinner Episode 8

Welcome back, gang! Junk Food Dinner #8 is here!

This week we bug out with an entire episode dedicated to all things that creep, crawl, and slither. First we take a look at one of the first and best entries into the world of radioactive creatures 1954's "THEM!" Then we get gross with the Ted V. Mikel's produced "The Worm Eaters" from 1977. Finally, the gross-out fest continues with 1988's "Slugs" from J.P. Simon.

Direct download HERE.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Parker checks some items off his bucket list.

I'm having a really good day. Firstly, after about 10 years of searching, I finally was able to download a VHS rip of one of my favorite cheesy 80s films, "Meatballs III." The film has the best fucking plot in the history of cinema. A nerd (Patrick Dempsey) working at a summer camp gets help losing his virginity from the ghost of a porn star. That's all your bitch ass needs to know, right? I bet you just lost your shit reading that plot synopsis!

For some reason, this is not on DVD. Meatballs 4 is on DVD for some reason. That's the wacky Corey Feldman one. I love Feldman, but Meatballs 4 is less than stellar. And there are no porn ghosts in it.

Also, for most of my life, I've remembered a scary movie I used to see on TV and used to rent at VideoTowne ALL THE TIME. The things that I remembered about the movie are that a birthday party may have been involved and that people get may or may not get chased. So, I've never remembered anything abut the movie, but I remembered the box art.

It was blue and there was a scary face on it.

And this is the description I've been giving to anyone who will listen while searching for this movie. Admittedly, it's not much to go on. But, by some means of fate, I found the fucking movie last night on these fucking interwebs. The damn thing is not on DVD, sadly, but some God Amongst Men put the damn thing on Youtube! Oh, the movie is called "Spookies" apparently. Who could have forgotten such a memorable title?

Anyway, the points I'm trying to make are as follows: I am now dangerously close to have fulfilling all my life's long-term goals and the next few episodes of Junk Food Dinner: The Podcast are going to be fucking awesome.

Monday, May 17, 2010

FINALLY! Slithis Coming to DVD June 1st!

Finally, our long national nightmare is almost over. The fine folks over at Code Red DVD have announced that on June 1st of this year they will release Stephen Traxler's 1978 low-budget monster flick Slithis on DVD for the first time ever!

This is great news for weirdos like me, who have, despite better judgement, enjoyed this poorly-acted, poorly-executed, man in a rubber suit sleaze-fest for years. No longer will we have to put up with terrible 80's VHS copies that have been overplayed and washed out. No more will we have to bargain with stinky fat guys at horror conventions over ridiculously-priced DVD bootlegs transferred from those same shitty VHS tapes. Finally, we can see Slithis in all its digital glory.

No word yet on any special features or print info, but knowing the quality output of Code Red thus far, I think it's safe to assume we're in for a nice release.

Check out some footage of this golden turd on YouTube!

Sunday, May 16, 2010


Junk Food Dinner Episode 8 records tonight!

Friday, May 14, 2010

The American Deam is a Nightmare.

So, there's going to be a Nightmare on Elm St. (remake) sequel.

I can't really get excited for it.

Now, don't get me wrong. I really, really liked the remake. They took all the main parts of the original (Freddy murdering uninteresting teenagers) and got rid of all the cheesy Wes Craven bullshit (Nancy's mom turning into a glow stick skeleton, the "Home Alone" booby trap climax, the infinite scenes of Nancy hitting Freddy with vases and trash cans and, of course, this abortion of the cinematic art.

Admittedly, though, there were new cheesy bullshits added in the remake. The Freddy-in-the-Wall scene looked like B-roll footage from "The Frighteners" and pretty much any scene featuring the Joy Division kid made me want to throw up. Also, half of Freddy's kills involve him thrusting his glove through people torsos and skulls effortlessly, which seems implausible since Freddy seems to have little to no upper body strength.

All in all, I think the aesthetic of the two films can be summed up very simply. In the original, Nancy takes away Freddy's power by declaring she no longer believes in him. In the remake, Freddy has no power over anyone until they do believe in him.

The latter idea, I think, is the true mark of a villain or a monster whether that be likened to Freddy, ghosts, America's desire to stay out of WWII or being unnerved by the guy standing next to you at the subway station at 4 a.m. The former idea is naive fairy tale bullshit at best and lazy film writing at worst.

ANYWAY- back to the sequel. This remake has made less money Freddy vs. Jason (as anyone could have guessed) and also made less money than the doomed-to-have-no-sequel Friday the 13th remake (which seems surprising). This remake also made about the same money as remakes of things no one even saw the original of, like "My Bloody Valentine" and "Prom Night" so why do a sequel to a movie that no one likes and that only made the box office average for a slasher film. Why not go back to the lucrative, lucrative business of Freddy/Jason grudge matches?

But beyond my bewilderment at the movie studio's apparent lack of desire to make money, I'm not excited for sequels to this remake for a more selfish reason: I love the original Nightmare sequels. Robert Englund's Freddy became the star of the show and that's not something I'm convinced that Jackie Earle Haley's Freddy will be able to do.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

RSS & Podcast Alley Feed

Horray, we now have an RSS feed and a Podcast Alley Feed. That means it's even easier to get Junk Food Dinner podcasts and updates on your computer, MP3 player or smart phone.

Our RSS Feed is http://feeds.feedburner.com/JunkFoodDinner . You can enter that into your Google Reader or podcast grabbing software (like iTunes or Google Listen) to subscribe. And here is our Podcast Alley page.


Toy Story 3: Inception

ScreenRant bring us another awesome trailer mash-up. I'm pretty pumped about both of these movies, so this is right up my alley. Also, I'm broke so if I can just see them both at the same time, that would help me out a great deal.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Junk Food Dinner Podcast: Episode #7

Hallelujah! Episode #7 of the Junk Food Dinner Podcast is upon us!

This week we take a look at the once banned, Psycho-inspired horror flick Don't Go In the House from 1980, then we get ship wrecked on a deserted island and battle mutant fungi in 1963's Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People and finally we get a house call from the pun-laden Dr. Giggles from 1992.


MP3 Direct Download

Also, got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

DVR ALERT: SyFy unleashes 'Mongolian Death Worm' tomorrow night

How can you not love SyFy Original Movies? Yes, the acting is laughable, the special effects are crude and the story lines are ludicrous, but hey, with titles like "Dinoshark", "Ice Spiders" or "Mansquito" how could you not be just a little intrigued?

The cable channel's latest offering of low-budget schlock comes in the form of "Mongolian Death Worm"... and if you haven't already guessed, it's about giant worms... that kill people!

Not that it matters, but this little gem is directed by Steven R. Monroe, who recently gave the world "Ice Twisters" (about man-made tornadoes that shoot icicles, from what I understand). Monroe also just wrapped up shooting a remake of the infamous 1978 rape/revenge flick "I Spit on Your Grave" which is set to be released theatrically in the US this September.

For those who have a high tolerance for ridiculousness (and let's face it, you probably wouldn't be here if you didn't), "Mongolian Death Worm" premieres tomorrow night, Saturday May 8th, at 9:00 PM on SyFy.


Friday, May 7, 2010

Super 8.

The trailer for the new super secret J. J. Abrams film has leaked online. Reportedly, it's a prequel to "Cloverfield," but I think thats hogwash. But, the trailer does mention my hometown of Dayton, Ohio (in a roundabuout way), so woo! Home field advantage against monsters!!

Here's the trailer.

I'm kind of hoping that they've finally turned that old State sketch "Super 8" about a killer video camera into a movie. I can't find that sketch on youtube, but there is a funny joke in it about how the camera can kill in low light or it can kill in bright day light.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Junk Food Dinner Podcast: Episode #6

Rejoice, weirdos! Episode six of the Junk Food Dinner podcast is here!

This week we take a look at (and debate) the brand-spankin'-new Nightmare on Elm Street remake starring Jackie Earl Haley in the role of the iconic Freddie Krueger. Then we explore the cheesy low-budget Troma alien killing spree Nighbeast from 1982 and finally we journey to the near apocalyptic Australian outback and get locked inside the Dead End Drive-in.


MP3 Direct Download

Also, got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at JFDPodcast@gmail.com

Thanks for listening!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Piranha 3D

The Piranha 3D trailer has hit the web. I'm pretty jazzed up for this movie. The originals (somehow) scared me as a kid. At the helm will be Alexandre Aja, who brought us "High Tension" and "The Hills Have Eyes" remake. the cast includes "Party Down"'s Adam Scott, Paul Scheer from "Human Giant," Jerry O'Connel, Christopher Lloyd, Elizabeth Shue, Eli Roth, Ving Rhames and lots more people who will get eaten by fish.

Check the trailer out here.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Holy Release Date, Batman!!

The third Batman movie has a release date: July 20, 2012.

In related news, I'm postponing my suicide date to AFTER July 20, 2012. I'll send everyone new e-vites.