Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Junk Food Dinner Podcast: Episode #52

Holy cow! Junk Food Dinner is one-year-old! To celebrate our one-year anniversary we're dropping a 2+ hour behemoth of an episode on your fragile eardrums!

Up first we take a minute to thank all the people who have contributed their time and talents to Junk Food Dinner over the past year and read some e-mails and hear some voicemails from some friends and fans of the show (if you find this boring, you know how to fast forward, pal!).

Then we recall the year that was and recount our top 5 favorite and least favorite movies we've covered over the last 365 days of the podcast.

Then we bid bon voyage to year numero uno by taking a look at three widely regarded cult classics.

Up first, we re-live our adolescence and rock out with The Ramones when we attend Rock 'n' Roll High School from 1979 with P.J. Soles, Paul Bartel, Clint Howard and JFD favorite Mary Woronov.

Then, a group of scientists are stranded in Antartica with a shape-shifting alien who is masquerading as one of them in John Carpenter's The Thing from 1982 starring Kurt Russell, Keith David and Wilford Brimley.

And finally, a maniacal medical student develops a serum that brings living tissue back to life with disastrous (and sometimes hilarious) results in 1985's Re-Animator based on a story by H.P. Lovecraft.


MP3 Direct Download

Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at Or hit us up on the hotline: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, if you like the show, (and why wouldn't you if you've come this far) please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Blubrry or

Thank you for an amazing first year and we look forward to making year #2 even better!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Before Parker Self Destructs

Remember 50 Cent's "Before I Self Destruct" (we talked about it on JFD45) Well, I wrote a big review of it for the cool movie review/news site So, go read it.

Friday, March 25, 2011

The call is coming from inside the house

Our first anniversary show is next week and we'd love for you to leave us a voice mail at 347 746 JUNK (5865) and let us know what you think of JFD so far. We doing a good job? Do we suck? Should we do things a little differently in the upcoming year? Send us your ideas!! You can also email us at jfdpodcast @

Chances are pretty good that if you leave us a voice mail, we'll send you a cool (awful?) prize. Parker would like to unload his DVD copies of "The Drifting Classroom" and/or "Slapstick (of Another Kind") on one of you lucky (unlucky?) listeners, so leave an address if you want to see some atrocities of film.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Captain America trailer

All hands on deck, men! We finally got a full Captain America trailer!

I like the idea of a superhero movie taking place in a setting that isn't present day New York, sure. But, my favorite aspect of Captain America's story is what happens after WWII, when he becomes an unfrozen caveman superhero* and has to deal with the strangeness of life in our modern times while fighting for ideals that seem to have been lost by our society and coping with the fact that everyone he knew is either elderly or dead.

I guess we'll get that in "The Avengers," though. Either way, I'll be planted squarely in the theater when this comes out.

*Obscure Phil Hartman reference.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Parker vs. Saw: The Final Chapter

I've finally decided to finish my reviews of the "Saw" movies. If you'll remember from Parts one and two, I had never really seen the "Saw" movies, and seeing as to how they're dead now, I figured it was a perfect time to watch them all and I did so in three days. Sorry this final set of reviews is coming so late but I've been hunkered down in my fallout shelter. And, no, I don't mean that I'm afraid of Japan's nuclear smog attacking my home in California, I mean that I've been playing through "Fallout: New Vegas" again.

"Saw V" (2008)
Up until now, there's been plenty to criticize the Saw franchise about: Reusing the same plot, silly acting, melodramatic meloncholy. But until this fifth entry, the franchise has never been boring. And guess what! We'll be making up for lost time. I don't remember much of the plot in this one, but that's not because I'm writing this like a month after watching the movie, I couldn't remember much about the film while watching it.

What I do recall is that Julie Benz (of "Dexter," "Buffy" and "Angel") has a really bad wig. Oh, and she's also stuck in a big Jigsaw trap/warehouse with a bunch of annoying assholes. Why Julie Benz decided to be in this movie in her downtime from being on the best television show on ... um, television, I have no idea. That's like if your little brother's shitty punk band, The Anarchy Skullz, somehow got Milo from the Descendents to sing for them.

Julie's scenes wherein she has to pass a bunch of Jigsaw's tests to survive are pretty weak, seeing as to how it's fairly obvious that you're not gonna kill the most famous person in the movie. They got us in the first film when Danny Glover got offed, but we're in safe sequel territory here. On the bright side, one of her "friends" does get an arm torn in half (longways!) and that's the obvious high point of the movie. Dude's arm looks like that taxi driver's from "Total Recall."

Aside from that, we get a bunch of dumb scenes with the new Jigsaw, Hoffman, doing really boring things. I bet at this point, the filmmakers were kicking themselves over that whole "giving Tobin Bell cancer" thing, on account of him being the best part of the franchise.

Anyway, Hoffman kills that cop that looks just like him. The end.

"Saw VI" (2009)
(I'm 99% sure) this is the first movie in the franchise to feature a shot of the sky. While this may not seem like a big deal, not seeing any trace of sky in the previous films gave them all an intense feeling of isolation and a clausterphobic atmosphere. The admittance that there is, in fact, a sky, in this film makes you realize "Oh, yeah. This town's probably more than just a collection of rusty warehouses. There's a whole world out there!" It's kind of like the ending of "The Truman Show."

In a desperate ret-conning attempt to tie into the day's headlines, Jigsaw is turning his traps on the fat cats in the health insurance business that wouldn't pay for him to have brain tumor surgery.

This is kind of a ballsy thing to do. It's also completely retarded and an admission from the studio that they're creatively tapped out on Saw. I imagine a bunch of movie executives looking around the room with 5 o'clock shadows and bloodshot eyes until one of them accidentally trips on a DVD copy of Michael Moore's "Sicko" and finds the muse.

Looking back, who would wanna see Jason using his diplomatic prowess to remove Noriega from power in Panama in the '80s? And how, exactly, would Chucky react to the Whitewater scandal of the '90s? And I'm sure Victor Crowley of "Hatchet" thought that George Bush didn't care about hideous Cajun ghosts in the days after Hurricane Katrina.

This would, actually, be pretty cool if the director realized it was a batshit insane idea. Doing this with a tongue-in-cheek campy feel would be fun and a much needed shot in the arm for the series (pun very much intended). But, there has never once been a glimmer of fun, camp or self-awareness in these films. Unlike Freddy, Jason and pretty much everyone else, "Saw" decided to stay the course and never follow the double shot of its declining quality with the chaser of humor.

"Saw" getting political no doubt lead to its ultimate demise. This movie is the least successful of the series and the most laughably rediculous. I'm surprised that it wasn't revealed in a flashback at the end that Hoffman's new Jigsaw apprentice is Barack Obama, who would then give us all a lecture about how we need health care reform.

"Saw 3D" (2010)
The final entry in the saga, mercifully, and one of my favorites. This movie seems the least like a Saw movie of the series. The film opens with a trap in the middle of a mall or a park or something, for everyone to see. In the last flick, we got a shot of a gray, dreary sky through a window, but here we have a full-on exterior shot with a big blue sky and a bunch of extras and color and all the things we've never seen from "Saw."

We also have some dude going from talk show to talk show telling the story of how he survived a Jigsaw trap. This dude hasn't been in any of the previous "Saw" flicks, so it's pretty obvious that he's lying. Then it's revealed that he's lying. But, we've never seen sets like "tv studio" in a "Saw" movie, so even that seems really fresh. At the tv studio, we're introduced to this imposter author's publicist, his girlfriend and a friend. So, later, when Jigsaw inevitably puts them all in traps, it's hecka refreshing to have been introduced to these characters beforehand. Rather than some new person just showing up in a trap, with a Jigsaw note to tell us why and who they are, we get to figure it out for ourselves. "Oh, these people are connected to the story. I remember them from an earlier scene," I thought while watching. This seems totally unremarkable for the cinematic art form in general, but it kinda revolutionizes the "Saw" franchise.

In other news, we're introduced to the last living police officer in all of town as he tries to put an end to Hoffman's Jigsawing ways. And Hoffman spends all his time trying to kill the original Jigsaw's wife. Did I mention that she showed up? She showed up. It was back in part four or something. But it's okay that I didn't mention that because she hasn't fucking done a single goddamn thing in three fucking movies.

Aside from a badass trap wherein Linkin Park and all his friends get killed by a car, the traps in this flick are pretty lazy and dumb.

Anyway, (spoiler alert) it turns out that Dr. Gordon (Cary Elwes) from the original movie is totally alive. Not only that, but he's been running the Jigsaw game behind Hoffman's back this whole time! I'll be honest, I didn't see this coming. I didn't see it coming because the Dr. Gordon died in the first one and then (I'm pretty sure) we see his dead, rotted body in one of the sequels. Nevermind that, though. He's back!

Saw 7 leaves us with a pretty smooth ass ending where Cary Elwes locks Hoffman up in the room from the original flick. I'm a little bummed this is the last one. We've finally been purged of the soul-sucking boring "lead man" in Hoffman and he's replaced by a somewhat capable actor to take over as Jigsaw (Elwes), who also happens to be an interesting character. This seems like a really interesting place to continue the story, but I guess I'd rather be left wanting a little more good from "Saw" than getting the inevitable crappy sequel.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Junk Food Dinner Podcast: Episode #51

National Reading Month concludes in a time when men were men and hats were hats. We take a look at three films based on the work of author Jim Thompson. First up is 1981's "Coup de Torchon" (AKA: Clean Slate) based on the book "Pop. 1280" and directed by Bertrand Travernier. Next, John Cusack is Roy Dillion in the 1990 Acadamy Award nominated adaptation of "The Grifters." Finally, Casey Affleck is small town sheriff Lou Ford with a sinister secret in the 2010 version of "The Killer Inside Me." Incidentally, don't you think the poster totally badass?

Yeah, it is.

Direct Download Here.

Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at Or hit us up on the hotline: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

(Don't forget- Next week is our 1 year blowout! Call and leave us a little love or not love!)

Also, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Podcast Alley or

Friday, March 18, 2011

'North Dixie Drive' director to appear on Kaleidoscope

Remember that North Dixie Drive documentary we recently posted about? The flick about Parker's hometown? Well, all things are steered by the great magnet, Junk Foodies.

Our new announcer, Juliet, will be sitting down for an interview with director, Eric Mahoney, on her radio show, Kaleidoscope, next week. So, you can check that out Wednesday, March 23 at 9 p.m. on WYSO in Dayton (and online here.

For more about the movie, Check this out.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Junk Food Dinner: Episode #50

Junk Food Dinner returns with historic episode 50. As National Reading Month continues. we'll be taking a look at three films based on the work of Parker's favorite author, Bret Easton Ellis.

First up we get coked up in Los Angeles with Robert Downey, Jr. and Andrew McCarthy in 1987's oddly moral "Less than Zero."

Then we follow the lives of several disconnected (and horny) college students in 2002's star-studded "Rules of Attraction."

Finally, we join everyone's favorite psychopath, Patrick Bateman, as he obsesses over beauty, real estate and eating the brains of hookers in 2000's "American Psycho" starring Christian Bale.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Summer of 3-D Barbarians

Good news for fans of rippling muscles, fur loin cloths and giant swords. No, they haven't figured out a way to bring Frank Frazetta back from the dead yet BUT you can look forward to not one but TWO new barbarian-themed films this summer (in 3-D of course).

Up first, Marcus Nispel, the director who made the God-awful remakes of both The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th, will try his hand at fucking up another beloved franchise, Conan the Barbarian.Recently a teaser trailer for the new installment of Conan popped up in theaters and online, showcasing former Baywatch stud Jason Momoa in the lead role originally made famous by Arnold Schwarzenegger almost 30 years ago. The film will also star Ron Perlman, Rachel Nichols and Rose McGowan. While the trailer doesn't reveal much, I think it's safe to say, I don't have very high expectations for this one.

Forgive me if I'm slightly more excited for the Danish CGI adult comedy Ronal the Barbarian, set to be released in Denmark in September. From the same people who brought you last year's R-rated computer animated comedy The Trouble with Terkel (which has yet to get a proper US release), Ronal focuses on a young weakling who is thrust into the unlikely role of a hero.

With it's R-rating, focus on humor, heavy metal soundtrack and the voice talent of Red Sonja herself, Brigitte Nielson, Ronal the Barbarian seems like the obvious choice for your 3-D barbarian dollar. However, it's unlikely that Ronal will get a US theatrical release because US audiences can't handle CGI films that aren't heartwarming tales of cute creatures trying to find their way home, but hopefully we can look forward to a stateside DVD release if we're real lucky.

Flow My News, the Internet Said; or Dick-head/lines

With THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU now in theaters (great PKD-centric review here, although I still really liked the film), and with JFD's next few podcasts being writer themed (in honor of March Is Reading Month), I thought the time was right to gather up some exciting new(?) Philip K. Dick movie/TV adaptation news (most of which came over from Quiet Earth).

-First up, a match made in Heaven, as Michel Gondry is set to adapt Dick's famous 1969 novel UBIK, which was set to get a big-screen adaptation as far back as 1974 by French filmmaker Jean-Pierre Gorin (TOUT VA BIEN). Dick even wrote a screenplay version himself, but the project never got off the ground. This is all probably for the best, given the evolution of reality-shifting visual effects, and also because I can't imagine another known working filmmaker of the last many years more suited for UBIK than Gondry. ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND is one of the most visually and thematically PKD-esq films ever realized outside of Dick's own material. Gondry's ingenious execution of clever and complexly fascinating visual ideas is a pitch perfect cinematic aesthetic for Dick's reality-altering mind-benders. Also both Gondry and Dick (especially in UBIK) have a playful absurdist streak, which should gel rapturously as well. I for one am all for this and super excited by this news!

-Also recently, The Halcyon Co., who bought up the entire Philip K. Dick estate in 2007, has released plans of adapting FLOW MY TEARS, THE POLICEMAN SAID as their next project. John Alan Simon, who has already completed a low-budget adaptation of Dick's RADIO FREE ALBEMUTH last year (see below), is suppose to be producing, but there is no word on budget range, writer or director yet.

-Some exciting news from the UK, as Ridley Scott (who has filmed an adaptation of Dick once himself with his masterpiece BLADE RUNNER) is set to produce a 4-Part BBC mini-series based on Dick's novel THE MAN IN THE HIGH CASTLE; which envisions an alternate present day world where the Nazi's and Japanese have won WWII. A mini-series format is a pretty good idea for this one.

-And finally, John Alan Simon's low-budget independent film adaptation of Dick's RADIO FREE ALBEMUTH, a posthumously published alternate early version of his later re-worked gnostic mind-blower VALIS, now has a trailer online. RFA is making the film festival rounds and will probably be released to the general public in some form later this year. The trailer looks questionable, but reports have been positive from PKD fans who have been lucky enough to see this at festival screenings.

In related but older news, Vincenzo Natali (of CUBE fame) is currently in pre-production on his adaptation of J.G. Ballard's HIGH RISE, from a screenplay co-written by himself and Richard Stanley (HARDWARE, DUST DEVIL)!! And PKD-admirer Jonathan Lethem's metaphysical love triangle novel AS SHE CLIMBED ACROSS THE TABLE is supposed to be getting an adaptation directed by David Cronenberg (which has already been previously mentioned on one JFD podcast).

Saturday, March 12, 2011

North Dixie Drive appears horrifyingly, heart-warmingly accurate.

Apparently, someone is making a documentary about my hometown, Dayton, Ohio. Specifically, the North Ridge neighborhood of North Dayton. Despite the fact that this movie seems to paint Dayton in a somewhat negative, mostly accurate and undoubtedly interesting light, watching this trailer makes me hecka homesick. I used to live just a few blocks from the focal neighborhood and it was probably the best living situation I've ever had (aside from sleeping on a couch, living with three DJs (one of which would always be "spinning") and discovering mushrooms growing from weird places in the house).

Here's a description of the movie from its imdb page:

North Dixie Drive is the portrait of a small community of businesses and people residing in the Northridge section of Dayton, OH. It is the story of big time wrestlers, mechanics, a donut salesmen, an eccentric country singer, barbers, exotic dancers and car repo men. This collection of people, from all walks of life, live and work around a traffic circle situated along highway I-75, and fight to keep their lives and careers afloat in a failing economy. This debut film by Brooklyn, NY filmmaker Eric Mahoney showcases an off beat group of characters in today's Middle America.

The wrestling organization shown in the trailer is one I've seen live. My good friend GeeGee is a pro wrestler (and two-time champion) and has worked with them. I've actually seen him get beat up by those Iraqi dudes in an event hosting inside the hottest, sweatiest flea market in all of Dayton.

The aforementioned flea market is actually one I've mentioned on the show. Before it was a full-fledged flea marker, it was just a weird store where an eccentric old man sold bootleg VHS tapes and porn. This is where I got my copies of "Blackenstein," Roger Corman's "Fantastic Four" and a bunch of other stuff. Now, (or at least up until I left Dayton), there was booth specializing in VHS and DVDs from Troma, Something Weird and other such greatness. In fact, I picked up a copy of "Troma's Worst Movie" "Confederate Cannibals" there a few days before I left town.

I also bought the most booze I've ever bought in that neighborhood, got my first lap dance there and spent so much time picking up my DJ friend from his job at one of those strip clubs, that I nearly memorized all the stretch marks on all the first shifters.

The neighborhood is also just a few short blocks from one of many dead GM plants and the spot where Larry Flynt started his Hustler empire. Oh, there's also a really sleazy drive-in theater.

California's full of flakes and Okies and retarded hippies but Dayton's weirdos and rednecks and old cooks will always hold a special place in my heart.

Battle Of The Battles

There will be a great deal of battling in and around the greater Los Angeles County area this weekend, as Columbia Pictures releases their big-budget aliens-invade-Los Angeles movie, BATTLE: LOS ANGELES, into theaters on Friday, and The Asylum debuts their awesomely audacious not-so big-budget aliens-invade-Los Angeles novelty knockoff, BATTLE OF LOS ANGELES, Saturday night on the SyFy Channel (03/12 at 9/8c PM). Next up, The Asylum sets its sights on the ALMIGHTY THOR. We are truly living in a golden age.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Super-8 stars children, won't be seen by Parker

Here is the new trailer for the J.J. Abrams/Steven Spielberg flick "Super 8." I was excited for this movie back when it was thought that this would be some sort of big budget Cloverfield-esque adventure. But now it looks more like a big budget E.T. meets Invaders from Mars misadventure.

As I've said many, many times before, I hate it when movies have little kids in them, especially when there's some amount of danger involved. Going into "Jurassic Park," it was obvious that Spielberg would never make a movie where a 10 year old boy would be disemboweled by a velociraptor and then eaten alive. So, any scenes involving those two little kids and dinosaur danger weren't dangerous or suspenseful at all. When you have a movie where the central idea is to make the audience feel the danger depicted on screen and then you unintentionally remove that danger by replacing expendable adults (who are socially acceptable to kill) with unkillable kids, then you're left with nothing.

Of course, this doesn't apply to film "Spookies," where a little kid is buried alive in the opening scene. We all love Spookies.

Going in to "Super 8," I'm 99% sure that all of the children this movie is based around will survive, so you can count me out. If you go see the movie and it turns out some kids die, let me know and I'll go see it. Not that I wanna see kids die or anything, but I can only get interested in fantasy realities where kids can potentially die.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Junk Food Dinner: From the Vault #1- Jay Woelfel

Many moons ago, we had the distinct pleasure of sitting down with writer/director/composer/etc. Jay Woelfel. We had discussed his film "Beyond Dreams Door" on Episode #23, and after a great many technical issues- we're proud to finally present this interview! Mr. Woelfel has been directing films since the late 80's and shows no signs of stopping. His most recent output are 2 films (Season of Darkness/Closed for the Season) both shot in our old/current stomping grounds in The Heart of it All. His other works include Ghost Lake, Live Evil, and Trancers 6. He currently resides in Los Angeles and is probably wondering why this has taken to long to post online.

Look for more of his films on upcoming episodes of Junk Food Dinner!

Direct Download Here.

Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at Or hit us up on the hotline: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Podcast Alley or

Take time out for an awesome video

Check this shit out. "Corporate Occult" by Huoratron. I miss the days when Kurt Loder would break on to the Mtv feed to tell me that the following video is too extreme and Mtv will only be playing it after midnight.

Anyway, don't watch this if you're at work because it's not safe for that. Other than that, enjoy.

"CORPORATE OCCULT" Huoratron Music Video from C├ędric BLAISBOIS on Vimeo.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Junk Food Dinner Podcast: Episode #49

Put on your glasses, nerd, because episode 49 of Junk Food Dinner is here!

This week in honor of National Reading Month, we're kicking off a three-episode series of shows dedicated to three of our favorite authors. Starting things off, we'll be taking a look at three films based on the work of Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Up first, a man becomes "unstuck in time" and simultaneously experiences his past, present and future in the surreal Slaughterhouse-Five from 1972 directed by George Roy Hill and starring Michael Sacks.

Then, Jerry Lewis and Madeline Kahn are malformed alien twins sent to Earth to solve its problems in the goofy 1982 comedy Slapstick (of Another Kind)(from the brilliant mind who brought you Baby Geniuses).

And finally, Bruce Willis, Nick Nolte and Albert Finney lead an all-star cast in a quirky look at Midwestern life in 1999's Breakfast of Champions.


MP3 Direct Download

Also, if you like the show, (and why wouldn't you if you've come this far) please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Blubrry or We gain precious nutrients from your love and support.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

James Gunn's "Super" has a trailer!

As I've said on previous episodes (JFD31 and JFD38), I am a big James Gunn fan. I've been waiting a long time for a follow up to his awesome "Slither" flick (that we'll probably do on the show at some point) and that follow up will be dawning on us soon.

It seems like The Great Magnet has pulled a bunch of stuff I like together on this one. I love superheroes. I especially love superheroes with no superpowers (my favorites being Batman, Iron Man, Punisher and The Maxx). I like Rainn Wilson a great deal, I have a weird crush that I don't understand on Ellen Page and I think Nathan Fillion one of the best actors around. Everything's shaping up nicely on this one.

Thursday, March 3, 2011


In the salad days of Episode #16 we had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Mr. Frank Henenlotter. Tomorrow night, we have the chance to meet the man and shake his hand at Forbidden Planet. Mr. Henenlotter and cohort Anthony Sneed (of Bad Biology) will be live in person starting at 7pm. Be there!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


Thanks to everyone who came out for the first, of hopefully many, Project Parlor and Junk Food Dinner Present.
See you guys in 2 weeks for more fun.
In the meantime, if you want to contact us you can hit us up at or call the hotline at 347-746-JUNK.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Junk Food Dinner Podcast: Episode #48

Junk Food Dinner is ready to party- with you! This week Mr. Matt D. from Forbidden Planet joins us for the show. So settle in as we kick things off with Gorman Bechard and Carmine Capobianco's hilariously-gory-romantic-splatterfest Psychos in Love from 1987. Up next we sink our claws into (and nearly expose ourselves to the potential risk of seziures) 2004's Cutie Honey. Finally, some people you may have heard of from other movies take part in the source of a lifelong nightmare of Parker's when we take a look at Invaders from Mars from 1986.

(Don't forget! If you're in NYC today (3/1/11) come to Project Parlor in Bed-Stuy (742 Myrtle Ave.) for Junk Food Dinner and Project Parlor Present hosted by Mark Freado, Jr. and Kevin Merryman! Starting at 9PM!)

Direct Download Here.

Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at Or hit us up on the hotline: 347-746-JUNK (5865).

Also, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Podcast Alley or